Friday, September 14, 2012

Savior


Summer Reading Essay


Katniss- The Hunger Games

Alfred Brooks- The Contender


Dizzy and unaware of what was happening, Alfred woke up in a white room with many security guards around him. He asked, “What’s happening? Why am I here?”
The guards said nothing and left the room. Alfred tried to make a run for it out of the door the guards left through but they had locked it prior to leaving. Alfred looked around. Only another door and a black window. Alfred went to the other door and was able to open it. He found everyday household items like brooms, window cleaners, and a fire extinguisher. Alfred knows he is being watched so he secretly takes the fire extinguisher and is about to throw it when an alarm goes off. He did it anyways. Glass shattered but no one was in the security room.
As he slowly continued on he looked on the cameras. There were security guards running all over. But o none camera a girl with a bow moving stealthily was coming. She then looked up and shot the camera. Next thing you know the door slammed open and Alfred was tackled to the ground.  A female voice said “Come with me if you want to live.”
Alfred wondered what was going on but he agreed. The mystery girl told him to start heading toward one of the exits. He did what was told. The women revealed herself saying. “ My name is Katniss, and I am here to save your life.”
Alfred exclaims, “What is going on here! Why do these people want me?”

“Keep your voice down. Someone is coming, get down.”
The two hit the deck and hid under a table, then a of few what looked like troops came running through. “Find the boy now! We can’t have him escape! said a guard. The troops ran on and kept looking for Alfred. “Why do they want me?” asked Alfred.
“They want you to become a troop, a special troop to do dangerous  missions. They have seen your fighting skills. Your one of the best.” said Katniss.
“Please help me!” Alfred begged.
  “I will, but we need to get you to the back entrance and i'll go up stairs and make a scene so you can go and run to the safe house of mine two miles west.” Katniss explained.
Alfred nods and then stops to ask. “ Why did you come for me?”.
“ I was coming back for the man who sacrificed himself to help me get out.But i was to late.” said Katniss
The two headed up stairs quietly. Shooting every camera they can see. Once Katniss brought Alfred upstairs she explained all he had to do. Once they were ready Katniss ran toward the main entrained shooting a pistol she found on a guard earlier in the air. Alfred heard the shots and was about to run when about five troops flew by going toward the shooting. At the main entrance Katniss  was there taking down as many guards that this base could send with her bow. Alfred knew it was clear and ran toward the safe house. Once he arrived he waited and waited, and waited. But no sign of his savior. To himself he said “Mark my words, I coming back for you Katniss”.
Alfred grabbed a rifle, and put a bow on his back, and started walking...

7 comments:

  1. this made me feel amazing amounts of anxiety, along with imagining alot of blood. i think that the room in the beginning was the best described. the conversations were very realistic. the fact that catniss took control made it seem very realistic. i thought the sentences were short and not extravagantly sofisticated, and it made the reading choppy.

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  2. I really like your essay, it made my feel kind of scared because of all the blood i imagined. "Alfred tried to make a run for it out of the door the guards left through but they had locked it prior to leaving. Alfred looked around. Only another door and a black window. Alfred went to the other door and was able to open it. He found everyday household items like brooms, window cleaners, and a fire extinguisher. Alfred knows he is being watched so he secretly takes the fire extinguisher and is about to throw it when an alarm goes off. He did it anyways. Glass shattered but no one was in the security room." I think this whole paragraph was explained in detail very well. i think you made the two characters come together nicely, like when Katniss tackled alfre to the ground and they worked together to get out. the only thing i have to say that would need more help is adding more to your story, it seemed like you went through each paragraph really fast.

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    1. Ya I did, had to finish late at night due to practice. I had no time in class because of sick days. But thanks for the feedback.

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  3. overall i liked the story the setting in the first room was described
    the conversation did sound authentic....BUT hes a boxer not a special ops solider so i dont know why they wound want him hes only good at hand to hand and this sentence is broken: But o none camera a girl with a bow moving stealthily was coming. mad bro?

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  4. it was good and I liked the whole thing

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